unleash the booty here

Monday, April 23, 2012

unleash the booty here

I was looking for Yelp reviews of a bar that’s close to the house I’m moving into next month, because the bar is called Nasty’s, and that’s the name of a bar you investigate before visiting.

The second-to-top review, a three-out-of-five star recommendation from user Holly A., is the fucking funniest/terrifying/life-affirming thing I’ve ever read:

It’s 1 am and you’re leaving a bar with your girlfriend by your side and your heels in hand. That’s when you know you popped, bumped, grinded, locked and just about dropped it. Walking barefoot down the road to yer car you realize THIS AIN’T YO MAMA’S GHETTO!

~Drinks will be spilled on you by various Nasties - free alcohol, people.

~Snoop, Biggie and Tupac are overflowing in the spin - round up the gin and juice and back that ass up in the back seat, ho.

~Plenty of people are doin’ the humpty dance and the doin’ it doggie style dance, in total threesome form - do not join or you might disappear never to be seen again.

~No strobe, colored or even black lights are to be found around the dance floor - shut up and dance on that raised plywood dance floor, bitch.

~No windows and no ventilation other than a metal trailer park fan and a small outside area for smoking - shut up and like it bitch.

Unleash the booty here.